Monday, July 31, 2006 at 1:10 PM
today school was so so terrible...seeing my friends again was happy but the lecturer... was so horrible..had no idea what he was talking about and he seems like he is talking to himself all the time...dunno how he can be a lecturer and i dunno how i am going to survive this module...i think i must start preparing my own notes....really really terrible..
so in the end we spent like almost an hour on the break cause all of us was reluctant to go back..it is really a torture to listen to his lesson...cannot wait for the lesson to finish...then when it finish..i practically ran out of the class because it is super boring and no matter how noisy the class is,he will pretend that he cannot hear anything and continue teaching....what kind of teacher is this?
ok..thought about what has happen..i am going to be happy and don't care about what he had said cause as i had said,it has happen a long time ago and if i still care about it,it means that i haven forget and give up him but in fact i already have...so why should i be so bothered...why should i care when someone don't even care...
getting on with life...nothing will get in my way....
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Sunday, July 30, 2006 at 11:45 AM
was very free so decided to post...feeling very very very sad...sad that i know that i have just let go of that chance that i was waiting for a very long time...it is seriously no one's fault..only myself to blame..i really really regret,it is all my fault...at this moment,nothing helps...
if i had been more persisted at the point of time,things wouldn't have happen like that..the more i think about it, the more i hate myself for making such a big and stupid mistake..this is a mistake i will never forgive myself...
try to stop thinking about it but i just cannot do it...if i have know the outcome, i probably wouldn't even had asked..crazy stupid me...if i had not been curious,all this would not have ever happen and the question will still remain a mystery and no one will ever remember it..
doing everything by all means to get you off my mind...thanks for letting me know that anyway.. at least i know what i wanted to know...everything that has happen is already a past..no point talking about it...
maybe i am really really fierce...but i think i am not....nothing helps now..
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Saturday, July 29, 2006 at 11:46 PM
today was a disaster!!!! i woke up so late!! a lesson to be learned..next time should not sleep so late..today was a total crap day at work...people can be so fake..tell lies without feeling guilty...i know what you are doing and i am not covering for you..i just dun wanna make matters worse.. hate that fake and superficial ''friendship'' we have...rather not be friends...feel so sick!
anyway..after work, went to plaza sing with family...was having a bad headache(dunno for what reason) so suggested going off early... went home and did nothing and watch tv..played cards with my family and me and my sis won!!(hurray!)
as for you my friend...you know i am talking about you...tell u a good news!! i asked about the job and they say they are looking for new staff!!!so happy when i heard that..the date is not finalised yet but i will keep finding out for you....no worries...still got things to say...a setback doesn't mean that you have failed...it is just to make you work harder...don't care about ppl that dun even think about you...look around and you will realise that there are lots of ppl that care for you.. why waste your time on someone that treats you like that? there are still lots of trees in the forest so you dont't have to worry...a good tree needs time to grow and to be fertilised... sorry for being so kpo ar...(will be here for you whenever you need me...)
now,back to me...after so long..finally manage to ask that question and got back a answer..not very nice but at least better then nothing..but after seeing what you said..my heart sanks... i just dunno what to do...anyway...all the best to you and hope that you two can be together as long as possible...
cannot possibly wait till school reopens...cannot wait to see all of you...miss you all so much... wondering how does our lecturer looks like...curious....only one more day but i am getting more and more impatient...but that doesn't helps..school still reopens on monday..-_-'''
am i really that fierce? alot of people said so...????
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Friday, July 28, 2006 at 11:29 PM
today woke up very late cause slept very late...long long time since i slept so late...was feeling quite bored yesterday so decided to watch the vcd that i bought long time ago...
the story was very sad...even though the guy was rejected but he still put on a brave font and smile at the girl after hearing what she said...just cannot imagine how he felt inside...i don't think alot people will react like him after getting that kind of news..
working morning again tomorrow..i guess i will be like a vampire tomorrow..already almost 12 but still not sleeping... blame myself....
actually..i really admire the perseverance that he have..if i were him..i would probably would not have waited so long..maybe i don't know the whole story but i really look up to him having to waste much time on a person that will not even reciprocate half of what he had done for her...
anyway..carn wait to go back to school on monday....can see all my friends again...and to know that things are back to normal..lectures and tutorial and no exams....really a torture exams are... i was practically stressed out the few days before exams...
seriously thinking about going to bed...don't want to turn out being very moody..that happens to me when i have not enough sleep...don't want anyone to suffer...especially friends and the customers that i will be serving tomorrow.ok..alot of craps...shall stop...
wondering when will i really know you....
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006 at 11:26 PM
omg!!!exams are are finally over..phew..felt so relax..still remember the moments when i was just about to have my exams..when my father was driving near my school..i was seriously getting nervous and more nervous... i was even more nervous then my O level...
anyway..the OB exam was ok...wrote like mad..came out of the exam room and my hand was shaking like crazy....hope i can pass...
then was my accounts paper which was today..having the same feeling again..nervous...but not as nervous compared to my OB paper..came out..compared some questions and then found out that i did totally wrong for one question!!!which was like 20 marks!!!omg!!my 20 marks... but i cannot do anything..the paper is over...why do the lecturer have to trick us like that?so unfair!!
i think i got phobia...probably i won't open my mailbox for the next few weeks...i dun wanna see my results..think will faint on the spot lor...i cannot take anymore pressure and stress...i had enough for the exams...
watch mortuary today...i don tink the movie was that scary..but...nooria was holding my hand thru out the whole movie....and she was screaming!! haha... fun!! next time no more sitting beside her...it was no fun....but the ending was normal and expected(verlyn and i guessed it) but was sad cause everyone sort of die...
starting next module next week...cannot wait to see what i am learning and definitely cannot wait to back school!! why school have to start on monday?haha...
looking at you brightens my mood!! missing you....
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Saturday, July 22, 2006 at 9:55 AM
so tired..i think it must be the tea i drank yesterday...no wonder i can't sleep...slept only at about 1plus..then i gotta wake up at 5am. so that explains how tired i am now...then yesterday, my mind kept wandering around..thinking about of rubbish....
today morning was great except that my colleague was sort of hyper active...haha..but it is kinda fun to work with her...helps to lighten our stress...sitting here now...settling some kind of small problem.just a phonecall and everything is done..
the time is passing so so so slowly...i want to sleep...i want to sleep...exams are coming...this monday...haven even finish studying..don't know what will happen to my hand after the exam..imagining..for every question ,we have to write at least one and a half pages..and we only have 3 hours..it may seem like a lot but when you are taking the exam, it will know that it is not..
daydreaming again..i guess that happens when one is very tired but cannot sleep..it is so bored.. i feel so sleepy...why carn time pass more quickly....getting more and more restless..the only way to keep me from staying awake is to pick up every phonecall...with something to do,then i wun feel so sleepy...
been thinking about your present..having lots and lots of ideas already..hoping to surprise you..
just hope that we could be friends...all the best in your exams!!!
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Thursday, July 20, 2006 at 12:04 PM
preparing to study now...i really don't know what to study..haha...trying very very hard...just receive a email regarding the change of venues for the examination..really happy because i've found out about something else...change my mood..even though is not much of a discovery but at least it is better than nothing...at least now i got to know more..
finding what is the meaning of classical conditioning...hmm..got so much meanings..dunno which one it is..oh ya..i wanna thank one person...she took the trouble to go to the library to borrrow the OB book for me and carry it all the way for me...Thanks!!! really appreciated..it provides a whole lot of information more then my study book....THanks again!
exams is on the 24/07/06 which is next monday..so fast...that is OB and for finance will be on wednesday...i am more afraid of OB compared to finance.seriously thought i will not be going to work this week cause i want to have more time to study..i will make up all that hours when i have finish my exams..i dun wanna regret when i got back my results...
guess i said enough...should get back to my book...don't wanna waste any more time...this is the path i have chosen so i gotta live with it...
still wondering about that spark......
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006 at 4:18 PM
staying at home this few days...just finish the questions for revision..quite happy that i got the correct answer..haha..lazing at home...it has been a long time since i can sleep till so late...kinda not so used to it...feeling abit guilty...afterall this week is study week and not holiday..haha...
yesterday went out and bought alot of things..if i keep on being like that i think i will be broke soon...but had quite some fun..i love to go out with her..haha...feels very comfortable when i am with her...oh ya...and we went to watch pirates of the caribbean..it is nice and very funny..but i am not that tempted to watch part 3..dunno why...
after some very deep thinking(as if), i think we are not going to be together..don't ask me for the reason..i don't even noe..just not suppose to be...i don't care even if i am going to regret later on.. i dun have the mood to even think..
finally,my sis brought home food for me...love her!!! my poor stomach dun have to stay in hunger liao...haha..
something is going very very wrong...i am losing the image of you...izzit because i keep thinking of you?i really dunno what to do..
really missing you...what can i do??
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Sunday, July 16, 2006 at 1:16 PM
talking to the customer....don't know what he talking...getting mad soon...
finally hang up the phone..*sighs*.. really can die...he is like talking dunno what language so i have to listen double hard...and it so so difficult...
celebrating my sis birthday later..haha...can't wait to see the birthday cake...*yumyum*
i haven even bought my sis present yet...don't know what to get her...still deciding...maybe really getting her nothing...
now waiting for my mum and sis to come and fetch me then we will go and buy her cake..hmm..dunno what to do at my grandma house maybe i will sleep till the time to cut the cake..haha...
oh ya..change my blogskin cause thinking of getting something different...hope everyone will like it but if they don't, i don't care...
it is just very strange..everywhere i go i will keep on looking out for him or mistooking people for him...maybe it is because i longed to see him or i really miss him...(*daydreaming*)
ok..shall end here..i think they are reaching already..
thinking about your big big present everyday...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Saturday, July 15, 2006 at 6:40 AM
working now...don't really know what i am doing..seems to be in a daze...don't really mean to change my blog address but i just don't like the feeling of someone looking at my blog and start commenting about my daily entries...(how am i suppose to tell you everything...there is so many things that happen in my life..)
don't know what to do...really really confused...now is already study week...so don't have to go school...but i somehow feel like going to school...i feel attached to the school already...or maybe to someone...haha...(joking)
i think i am really determined to get the answer..even though it has pass long time ago...don't know..i really don't know...i don't used to be like that..i really don't know what is wrong with me..
don't even know what i am going to do during the ''break''..our group already arrange to study together but i think that is all..so,maybe for the remaining days i will work...depending on mood ...
ok..gonna stop..no more inspirations to write anymore..just feel like sleeping..and sleeping..i haven done in a very very long time...
hoping to see you everyday(you are just so familiar)..you really brightens up my day... =)
(preparing for a very big big present..only for you! )
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Thursday, July 13, 2006 at 5:38 PM
actually wanted to work but...abit lazy and tired...and no perseverance...(lots of excuses)
now studying..really hope that i can pass..it is really quite difficult...so many things to remember and so many mathematical problems...and thanks to the teacher,i can really focus on some of the topics and not all of them..hmm..wondering whether it is good or bad...haha...
i think i am really gonna ask that question..not that it really matters alot but i really wanna know..i don't know what will happen if i ask and i don't know i will do but....i just wanna know the answer...
i thought i can get some work done but....OB is really difficult..i dun understand anything!!how am i suppose to study for exams??how????argh!!!
still sad...what to do?that spark is no longer there in my life even though i hope that it will be..
hoping that everything will be alright...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006 at 5:18 PM
been talking to my friend about something that has happen a long long time ago...maybe it is because i can't really get over it or i don't really wanna lose...i wanna know the answer but i am afraid that if i really ask,it will affect our relationship...
but if it is really the answer that i wanted, i think i will hate myself for everything i did... if it was not for what i did..everything will not have turn out like that...i have only myself to blame..
thinking about it..should i have known,i probably wouldn't even brought up that topic..can't really sleep yesterday..turning and turning...my mind was so distracted...just cannot stop thinking about it...why do i wanna rake up the past? i know it will do no good to me but.....
it has been some time since i felt like this..why is this happening again...
really breaking down soon...the spark has extinguished...no more hope...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Saturday, July 08, 2006 at 7:11 AM
there was not much of any problem during the genting check in,hope there will be none later on..
hmm..this few days kinda good mood...maybe that sparkle really did spark up my life....haha...but i know something is not possible but just having that small little motivation really makes my day...
thinking that i will probably spend my 1 week holiday working...don't tink i will have any time off..but i don't mind...money is more important...haha..getting more and more money minded...
bored..bored..bored...probably this is what mr tan teaches us..when u begin to take note of something,u will feel that where ever u go,u seem to see it all around you..guess that is kinda true...haha..
seriously falling sick very soon..coughing like this...sooner or later will cough out blood ar..
ok..thats all..post no more...
hope that sparkle will bright up my life...hoping so much....so much so much
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Friday, July 07, 2006 at 10:02 PM
i think it is a long time since i step in here again..haha..well..to me..i tink it is long..been busy with lots of things..project,test,and lots of going out...and of coz..spending lots of money too...haha...
well..been out again with my besties..haha..but most of them can't make it so left only 3 of us but nonetheless,we enjoy being together too! went to watch a movie too but it was too horrible and total waste of money...i was totally scared out of my wits...
tis was the three of us!! (picture was nice but due to miss val nice hair..er..became not so nice)
have lots of pictures but abit lazy to update all...haha..exam coming soon...i really gotta work realli realli hard..hope that i can pass otherwise i dunno what is going to happen to me..
sis b'dae cumin soon,dunno what to get her...hmm..wat about getting her nothing?seems like a good idea..haha...but i tink i will get killed for giving nothing...haha...
really should go to bed even though it is still quite early...cause i got work...
life is still sad but that sparkle has somehow given me a teeny weeny bit of hope!!!
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Sunday, July 02, 2006 at 10:36 AM
yesterday was a crazy day...without any reason got scolded by the customer and then a big cock-up happen yesterday..the bus was late for only an hour but the customer were very very angry saying that mere one hour means a lot to them..then they stay at our counter and refused to budge..and insisted on a full refund..i din noe what happen in the end but i dun tink our company will refund back full amount as they chose not to go..so it is also partially their fault too..
anyway, can't be bothered...then was so tired the whole day..just sitting on a chair i will feel very sleepy and i will start dozing off..haha...
today morning was more lively compared to other mornings i had..maybe i was feeling very energetic ba..so thats why was in a super good mood.
been calling m.h for dunno how long already...about 20 mins..but she still din pick up the fone..
argh!!
still suffering..trying very hard to heal the wound...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
