Thursday, August 31, 2006 at 9:00 PM
didn't post yesterday.. no mood... just feeling sick and tired of everything.. (as usual) tomorrow working cause uncle going to m'sia... so happy cause can disturb my little cousin.. he really very cute.. but sometimes he is also very naughty... i think i will be very tired tomorrow.. working at 6 then i have lessons till 4... then weekend working morning again... i must be mad...
exam coming soon and i have done nothing... really got to buck up soon..i really want to pass my exams and get the dip. that is the best that i can do for now... nothing i do is satisfying except to study hard and get good grades... so, i have to really study hard...
don't you think our distance is getting furthur and furthur.. maybe the things i do are not appreciated by you.. but i already tried my best and i did my part and did what a friend is suppose to do.. if you don't understand then there's nothing i can do... i just have to said that i tried my best.. maybe... a misunderstanding? we used to have lots of things to say but now...
things are so different between us.. guess that no matter what i try to do.. the end will still be the same.. impossible...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006 at 6:48 PM
passed my econs test.. then just now, nooria called and tell me to check my mail cause she already receive her results.. i went to see.. i passed.. what a relief... what about 'you'? hope you passed too...today we were given an evaluation form to give our feedbacks for the 2 modules we had.. and i did what i promised... my comments to the PBM teacher was so .. wonderful.. andrea and i was giving so many comments... he deserve it.. and tomorrow is PBM again... so bored...
once again.. i have been played... i really have nothing to say... i am used to it...if you want people to care for you and respect you then you will have to do the same to other people too.. not blaming you all that have happen.. maybe i am the one that have change.. maybe i shouldn't care so much...
this few days was feeling so tired.. even if i have enough sleep in the night.. i will still feel tired in the morning... maybe i am suffering from some kind of diesease...my mum is so good.. going manila then after that going to taiwan... i wanted to go but she don't allow.. =(
ver.. i will not probe into any of your stuff anymore.. i think i have done enough and if not, too much.. the rest is up to you.. sometimes, you have to grab hold of your own happiness and not let it go just like that... time can prove everything... i am just not interested anymore...
oh. we got our new timetable for the next module..hope it will turn out fine..business law will be interesting but i think it will also be very difficult... soon.. our course will be ending... time really pass very fast...
the deadline is getting nearer and nearer...little time is left...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Monday, August 28, 2006 at 11:15 PM
was walking to school today...thought about alot of things.. remember about all the fun we had during secondary school.. all the laughter and jokes that we used to crack at each other.. Then, i thought about something called best friend. what is the definition of best friend? Is best friend called a best friend because we are there for each other in times of need or a best friend is called a best friend just because we spent more time together? i am starting to doubt the actual meaning of best friend...
you may say we are best friends but do you really care or help me if i am in need? you may say yes but one day, if bad things really happen, will you still stay by my side and support me? human are all the same.. they are all selfish.. we never know what will happen tomorow, so treasure your best friend today...
i no longer have the perseverance to do things.. just let things goes its own way.. after all that i have done, i still make the wrong decision and ended up blaming myself. i am tired to do anything now.. whatever will be, will be... not really alot of people turn up in class today...once again, not suprising... he don't care anyway.. and i don't care too. i just cannot be bothered anymore.. did so much things.. didn't even got a thanks.. still got treated like that... what is the point??so disappointed...sooner or later.. conflicts are bound to arise.. whatever la... super pissed off..
ruth going genting... keep on saying her but actually i think i am going to miss her.. she will be back on friday.. hope she enjoy her trip with her friends... take care..
hugz*
not in a good mood.. when will my dream come true?
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Sunday, August 27, 2006 at 8:27 AM
so so early... was trying to keep myself awake when i was at home just now...cause i scare i will be late.... always felt that i don't have enough of sleep... mon-fri will be school and the weekends will be for work... i think i can only wait till the study week then i can sleep later then usual..
so many buses today...don't know why.. but not really alot of people... then so many people working but when we need them, all disappeared.. for what you come if you are not there when your help is needed? then we might as well leave the counter empty... what is the point??
going straight to bed after i finish work.. i cannot wait for 2pm... it's so boring here.. then it is so hot...if this continues.. i am definitely falling asleep soon... still quite full after yesterday's meal.. kinda having a fear for fishes now.. so bored here...raining so heavily now.. actually thinking of going to buy something but guess it is off now...
i am happy and envious of you ver... i am really giving up...i rather give up when the feelings are not too deep..at least it won't hurt that much... so many things happen but i just got not enough time to digest them all... the game's over...i gave up.. i am just not up to it... words are just so much easier then action...
i lost in the end.....
*Happy Birthday DAPHNI !!* i didn't forget you. =)
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Saturday, August 26, 2006 at 10:46 PM
another tired day...worked in the morning..then went out with wt cause she wants to get something.. once again..wrong choice of shoes.. wore heels again...hurts like mad... i thought i was going home after that so i wore heels.. but i did more than just went home...
after wt left, cause she got work later at night, i met ver at the mrt station... she was wearing so nice... even put on make-up... so nice ar.. but also not for me to see.. then she make me walk almost the whole of bugis looking for the things that she wanted.. cough drops, herbal drink... wonder who it is for? don't see her treating me so good when i got sick.. isn't that biased??
finally after getting all the things she want, we went to find "someone" and had dinner with him and his friend... waited for some time for empty seats... really cannot help but feel very sleepy.. after that, ordered grilled pepper fish (if i remembered correctly).. it was such a large serving and i din finish up.. i think i don't dare to eat fish for the whole of next week... i ate so much for dinner....
after a "thanks for coming", both of us make our own way to the bus stop... then was afraid that ver will reach home late so i suggested taking a cab... i am posting cause she ask me too... after this.. i will definitely going to bed.. working morning tomorrow...
today, so pretty ar... then super happy rite? you didn't talk alot... make me do all the talking.. anyway.. i don't mind.. as long as you happy then ok liao.. all that suffering was nothing la... i very kind de... just be happy for what you had and don't ask for more.. i did whatever i could.. remember you had that piece of memory to hold on to whenever you feel low... so smile ver !!!
i decided to end everything... i don't think i can continue with the game anymore...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Friday, August 25, 2006 at 10:27 PM
a special day... a day where he celebrate his birthday...a day that i will always remember.. a lesson that i will always remember.. something that i will regret for the rest of my life... but all is over.. i am just touched by what you say today...was surprise that you said all those things..guess i didn't disappoint you.. =)
in POE class, the lecturer did not give us back our papers.. think she is not done with the marking.. time really pass very fast... this module is ending already... had about 4 essay questions for homework... did 2 so far.. so don't think will be a problem to hand in on tuesday..at least i hope so...
then PBM, the number of people at class was so little.. and everyone was not even paying attention... each was doing their own stuff...and as usual, the irritating queen of heels was laughing like mad...trying to be the center of attention...she was practically flirting with all the guys in class... laughing so loud and walking around with her butt swaying from one side to another... don't she know what is manners? and why can't she leave what she want to say when she was only with her friends.. anyway.. she wasn't wearing heels today...so sad.. really excited about seeing her display of super high heels...
if one day.. i have the chance and it happens that i am not in a very good mood.. i will scold her.. i really will.. she is really on my nerves... since she likes flirting with guys so much.. might as well stand at geylang and flirt with all the uncles... she will be benenfiting too and the uncles will definitely pay more attention to her... she can get all the attentions she wants and dreams of...she is really horrible.... argh!!!!!
cannot wait for the whole course to end... no longer excited... i am tired with what is happening.. you can flirt for all you like.. i don't want to compete with you.. you can win for all i care.. sick and tired... wondering how will it feels to give you one tight slap across the face..
there is no way we can talk.. sooner or later.. i am going to lose hope.. or maybe i am already losing some now... i hate everything!!! my life sucks to the extreme core...........
*happy birthday Samuel!*
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Thursday, August 24, 2006 at 9:40 PM
had our POE lessons today... the teacher did not finish marking the papers but she went through the paper with us.. i can't remember what i wrote but i know that i lost 10 marks already.. think she will be giving us back the paper tomorrow.. hopefully i can pass...
sadly today, our queen of heels did not wear any stunning heels... she wore flats... totally disappointed.. was hoping to see something new and exotic from her.. really can't stand her sometimes and the way she looks at people, it is like she is trying to screen everyone from head to toe with her 'x' ray eyes... she should know how many people dislikes her... cause she acts as if the whole world loves her which apparently is not a fact....
after school, went out with nat... was wearing super casual because i didn't know there will be a change of plans... i went town with shorts and slippers.. totally disgusting.. nat bought lots of stuff.. i didn't get anything cause my heart still dripping blood after yesterday's major spending.. still some time till pay day...
oh.. i almost forgot... i was nearly killed by ver today.. cause i just merely uttered a 'bye'. she stared at me with her fierce and big? eyes... i am so sorry.. i din mean to do that... he was actually looking at you... so sorry ar... things aren't so bad for you... don't get too negative.. there's still a long way to go... and believe that miracles do happen... so be more positive and CHEER UP!!! =) and if things don't as well as we would like them to be, never ever forget that you still have me.. so life won't be that miserable.. smile!!!
tomorow we have PBM too.. i will not be surprise if no one turns up...there is no point in attending his class... he don't even talk to us, so what can we expect?? i think i might probably leave after the break... i don't think i can stay there any longer.. every minute there equals to something very bad... but your presence make it better... therefore, i have to like my class... =)
i have purple nails now... hope other people find it nice the way i find it too!!
whenever i see you..i want to tell you so many things... if only i have the courage....things would be better........
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006 at 11:22 PM
have been trying to get onto this site for ages.. don't know what is wrong..so irritated.. thought it was my computer that was giving problems so i had to on and off it... super irritated... till now it is giving lots of problems... feel like throwing the computer away... so much problems...
today went out again... lucky i have my flats but my bag was so heavy..... sooner or later going to have shoulder aches.. i am just glad that my shoulder have yet to dislocate.. bought lots of stuff... waste lots of money... dripping blood now... so sad...
in the morning..when i was in the bus on the way to go to school...i was thinking.. maybe today i should really listen attentively to what he is teaching... so when i reach the class.. i tried my very best to listen to what he say... but i really cannot take it... every minute he is saying how great he is and stuff like that... why can't he be more modest... really seriously cannot stand him.. i tried to and i try to tolerate.. but really cannot.. really feel like throwing the chair at him when he keep boasting about himself... and he keeps looking at the ceilings when he teaches.. i think all the students are on the ceilings... then what is the use for tables and chairs???
then.. to make things worse... some horrible terrible person.. make the worst comment today!!! when i hear her... i am controlling my anger... who do she think she is? the queen?? maybe she can be the queen of heels.. with all that running and jumping with her heels, i am sure no one can beat her... i admit defeat myself... so stuck up!!
trying to make myself believe that things will get better... somehow, i am just deceiving myself..
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006 at 10:49 PM
had econs test today...it was not as difficult as i expected cause most of mcq questions came from the paper that our lecturer gave us the week before.. hope i can pass...most of the questions anyhow do...like the demand curve... shift left, shift right i also not sure.. so one of it i put no shift... =.=
after school..went to suntec 1st with ver..then walking halfway, ver suddenly say want to go far east...so we took a express bus there...it was so expensive...next time must see the farelist properly since now using adult fare..so not fair.. then we walk and walk.. my leg almost break..it was so tiring...we saw alot of things and we commented alot of people...so kpo... we saw lots of pinic baskets... suitable for someone in our class...if i keep saying then our ms ver will say she smell vinegar... mad lor.. i think yours is stronger... J***.. wonder who it is....
i think once you know ver, you will know her true colours.. she is very mean, fierce and definitely not quiet girl... then later when you say that she is not quiet, she will say that the report book blablabla.... so many excuses...she shouted me a few times today.. so scary.. =( people must be wary of her...she is dangerous!!
so tired...next time go out must wear proper shoes... only flats...i pity my legs... tomorrow working... i think so... i like going to work but i lazy to work.. so contradicting... i will like it more if people there are more real...instead of fake smiles... stop acting.. there is no way you can get the oscars.. if you like acting so much.. go join acting...
just a message can make ver so happy... she almost tried to kill me... so fierce... i so sad... she biased... don't like her...
i would do anything for your smile... it is all worth it... if only things would be more perfect...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Monday, August 21, 2006 at 8:52 PM
it has been a long time since i have this kind of nap... guess i was probably too tired...i almost dozed off just now during the lesson just now..tomorrow having my econs test.. not really know if i really know how to do...hope that i can pass...if not..i really dunno what to do...so tired.. feel like sleeping more but if i really did that.. i will be looking for trouble..
today in class...we had PBM but we did not bring the book because there is no point if we bring it.. the teacher don't even look at us when he ''teaches'' and if that is call teaching then i think all of us can teach too... instead, we brought our POE books to study...but i didn't really study because ver was constantly disturbing me.. i should not have sat beside her...it was a mistake..
actually, today was suppose to meet ruth..but...dunno about her... sometimes we are weird.. can be so so good..then sometimes...can be very bad... i dunno what she is thinking..sometimes i really can't be bothered... you still have not give me your decision... excuses and more excuses... i don't know what i am to you... i am tired....
was looking at the timetable today and i realise that we have only about 1 and half weeks more to finishing this module...time really pass very fast and till now we still did not get back our previous results...don't know when will it be... we were told 2 weeks then 1 month... ???
even if it is impossibe, i am trying to catch every chances..all for your smile...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 11:15 AM
slept at one plus yesterday..went work looking like a zombie..so crazy..kept wanting to doze off.. so tired.. then have to self entertain myself in order to keep myself awake...i kept talking to my colleague about stupid stuff... i think he must feeling irritated at that time.. then i went to a website to see some local news but till now, i have not finish the story... -_-'''
u told me that you don't like people who are fake but to me, you are one great faker? how do i trust what you say.. you act like friends with everyone.. and how would i know that you are not acting with me..i always treated like a good friend and i hope you too treat me as one.. maybe you just don't appreciate the extent people go to just for you... maybe you are just too selfish..
actually didn't really want to post today but our ms ver...keep rushing me.. asking me to post as she was too bored..so, of cause i must make use of this opportunity, knowing that she will read my blog to say something bad about her... she keeps saying she is a quiet girl when she jolly wells know that she is not.. dunno how she can say this without feeling guilty..haha.. right ver?
ruth...i am serious, if you don't wanna join me, i am fine with it..just tell me..i can go on my own too..i am really interested.. i don't want you to go just to accompany me..and you don't seem interested anyway..so just tell me..
lots of stuff happened this weekend.. pretty exhausted myself...
i longed to see you.. this weekend seems longer than normal...
your smile is all i need...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Saturday, August 19, 2006 at 10:32 PM
firstly..before i start commenting about what happened today.. i would like to say sorry and more sorries...i shouldn't have been so kpo..i cause all the unhappiness that you are facing now...you said it was not my fault but i know it is..somehow or another...if not directly but definitely indirectly... i should have listened to you instead of keep insisting it my way.. but i just cannot bear to see you feeling so sad...i feel sad too.. i just want you to know the truth...but guess it is kinda cruel to you.. i really feel very bad...i am really sorry... i understand if you won't to talk to me ever again.. i deserve all this.... really sorry..
today went work then had to go back secondary school for some campaign on donating blood..i was the one who ask ruth to come but in the end, she donated and i couldn't because i was too young... =) guess it was fated somehow... ruth seem so much in pain..cannot eat properly and had lots of troubles because she can only use her left hand...i pity her....
deciding on going for thai lessons...ruth wanted to go with me but having some doubts now.. stuff, like the place was not convenient for her..she was lazy and blablabla.... i cannot blame her..she decided to learn thai was partially cause i wanted to do it.. so thanks and i deeply appreciated it.
pls don't be so sad anymore..think it in another way, it will be better because you know where you stand and you won't keep having doubts..all my fault..
shall stop..i already cause enough problems today...feeling ashamed to face the whole world..
you are constantly on my mind..
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Friday, August 18, 2006 at 9:41 PM
bored day at school..especially during the morning class...the teacher start the class late and throughout the lesson he was talking rubbish and not even teaching...what a good job he get.. getting paid while doing nothing..he keep going in and out of the class and release us so early.. anyway, it is not that we will listen to him when he teach but at least he should be responsible and carry out his duties as a lecturer instead of talking lots of unrelated topics..
then, ver was having a bad mood day...no jokes and laughter could make her smile...her face was totally "expressionless". so scary lor...where is the usual very noisy ver?? she is facing some problems...don't wanna probe in too much later she find me kpo.. was sitting beside her in class.. trying to find one hundred and one ways to humour her but i failed terribly..she just answer me in a ''hmm'' sound whenever i talk to her... -_-''' really wanted to help her...feel so helpless that i cannot help her...i mean what can i do? go up to him and confront him? not possible rite? and if i really did that, i think i won't be able to live till tomorrow cause ver will surely kill me..
just some advice for ver.. tolerate and be more patience.. you never know what will happen next so never give up..don't let things go too fast... there is still time...be more positive..be glad that you and him had some communication..being able to talk and care for him... you should know what i mean... so CHEER UP!!! life's not that bad after all... after all.. you still have me.. =)
econs test coming..going to study real hard..will try to pass the test...must pass otherwise sure die... everyone, good luck!!! after the teacher's explaining, know what to study so at least i won't study the wrong things...hopefully not..working morning as usual...hope everything goes well..
your smile means the whole world to me... if only that smile of yours will be smiling at me....
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Thursday, August 17, 2006 at 9:36 PM
today at class was very alert because test on tuesday..so must listen attentively in case the teacher drop any hints... but she didn't.. =( but never mind.. i still learn alot today..today, before class start..super big thing happen..alll because of ver.. i miss the good show.. so sad lar... anyway, don't know whether the guy coming ma.. cause i must steer clear of him and must be very careful that i don't provoke him...
after school went out with ver..went suntec then halfway ben come meet us cause he go service his phone... went to eat......was laughing all the way..talking lots of crap...then after he go repair his phone then we went to see toys..so fun..wish that we would have all this toys during our time..nowadays kids are so fortunate..so many fun games and toys...we were all playing like small kids...so fun... back to the old days....
after that...i and ver went to esplanade...go see scenery..took lots of pictures..can see that ver likes the sea alot....keep taking photos of the sea..... she keep saying she very quiet...making me so irritated... then i keep advising her about Mr busy but no matter what i say, she always have something to say back... she ask me to be more postive and there she is..being so negative.. so contradicting...keep saying no chance no chance.. if you don't try how you know? and even if you really fail in the end..just be contented that at least you tried.....so you would not have any regrets...ok?
i think tomorrow alot of people not coming for the morning lesson.. what is the point..i think they rather stay at home and sleep..more satisfying... then afternoon class, alot of people will come because the teacher will take attendance..so have to come and the afternoon is much much much more interesting than the morning one...i don't feel like going school...so bored....
another day has passed...i only have little time left.... i just want a smile from you....
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006 at 7:45 PM
today at school doing nothing..once again, the lecturer is boasting about his wonderful career.. telling us what he work in the past and how much money he earns... he can stop saying all this things because no matter what he say..we will not be envious of him and will definitely not feel proud for him... if only he can use his boasting skills to change into skills that enable us to understand the lesson better then it would be great.. but it will never going to be happening..
today stayed back a school for project..we manange to finish everything by today... so good..meaning tomorrow don't have to stay back... today my bag was so heavy i think my shoulder almost got dislocated..got to bring so many things and the book was so heavy... but we were having alot of fun...solving puzzles and laughing like mad... it was great you guys in school... thanks for everything that we shared together...
ver now very happy..think her chances having a private chaffeur quite high... good ar..so envious lor..i got nothing... she happy till forget me... don't know where she go..chat halfway then disappear..i think she too happy then she faint...she so sweet to some people..then so evil to friends...so biased....such a good friend..
some people are just so funny..seriously, how can you fall in love so easily... you ask for advice.. but what is the point, you don't listen..then why bother wasting your time and my time.. then when you fail..you will start complaining to me..i am not a saint..i cannot always be there for you whenever you have troubles..just take this for example..i ask you not to go but you refuse to listen...what is the point.. then later you will end up feeling disappointed..i just don't understand..
impossible..impossible.. thats all i can say...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006 at 9:12 PM
econs class test is coming..heard that alot of people is not coming..because it is better to absent yourself from the test than having the test and failing it... i have no choice, i will have to turn up for the test..so the only thing to do now is to practise and practise...
after school went gym with nat...need to slim down...run at the threadmill for 20 mins non stop.. it is was not too bad...then after that..went to ver house...cause it was still early and i dun feel like going home so early so go disturb her...went her house talk loads of crap and kpo-ing at other people friendster... i cannot stand her..keep on saying that she is quiet..but the actual fact is that she is not even consider quiet...and if people think that ver is quiet then i'm sure they do not know the definition of quiet..
after that took bus home..it was so long...when i left her house, the sky is still bright...but before i reach home, the sky already turn dark..have to take about to close to 2 hours to reach my house..thats so far lor...if only i have a private chaffeur... (dreaming.. as usual..)
today ver very happy ar..so many good things happen to you...so envious... good ar.. people add you in friendster means people interested in you..haha...oh ya.. ms tay..next time you got chance to have your own private chaffeur liao... you know what i am saying...don't act blur ar... =)
some people complain about the words being small..so i have to enlarge it.. izzit clear now?? =)
spotted lots of difference between us...no matter what i try to do..no matter how hard i try.. the outcome is still the same..it is still impossible...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Monday, August 14, 2006 at 3:07 PM
reach home quite early...cause today got lessons..nooria accompany me to lavender station cause she going her aunty house..then ver and ivy went to orchard to buy something..my lesson is suppose to start at 1.30. but now already 3 and my teacher is still nowhere in sight.. where is she?? she called me around 2 and say that she will come at 2.30.but.... don't know where she go..so bored..sit at the sofa waiting for her then ended falling asleep... =.= got nothing to do now so post lor..
finally the teacher came...had kinda great time...like my teacher very much..teaching me when i was small till now...she say she forgot to msg me...make me wait so long...the piece is really very difficult..dunno how she can play it..my both hands cannot coordinate...was like all over the place when i was playing... so funny lar...must master this song..i think i must practice everyday to have the standard that my teacher is playing...
meeting ruth later...she din seems really keen to meet up..probably shouldn't had ask her to meet her..but i was so looking forward to it...but i guess she was not that interested.. =( today at class..was doing anything except listening to the lecturer class...i just feel that i attend the lesson just because i am suppose to and not because i want to attend the lesson.. was writing some stuff.. i think i was not in a very good mood just now because i was very tired..so sorry guys...didn't mean to give you all the 'black' face...
this week going to be busy...project submission is next week and we have not started on anything...then i think the econs test is also next week...how am i suppose to cope with all this stuff? i don't even have any idea what the lecturer is saying... what to do???
feelings faded..i no longer look at you the same way i used to...everything has ended...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Sunday, August 13, 2006 at 9:38 AM
yesterday was a busy day...work in the morning as usual then after work actually wanted to go for lunch with ruth but last minute, my mum call me and tell me that they have already reach my workplace.. -_-''' so i have to ps ruth...feel so guilty cause she waited for me so long...and she was also with a friend...next time don't anyhow promise people liao...
then yesterday nite..went to my cousin house because he was celebrating his birthday..i din know that my cousin was already 8 years old! time really pass very fast...i didn't wanted to go because our family was not so close to my mum's side relatives...but.. i had no choice.. and as expected, i was nearly bored to death..sitting over there doing nothing and all around the small little cousins was running around making so much noise...small boys are really limits! they make so much noise....
but they are all very cute...they fight and quarrel and cry but the next minute, they are playing with each other again...it is like nothing have happen..and the parents are pratically running around them too...ensuring that they don't fight and that they are away from dangerous objects..
nowadays..kids are so violent..they are all playing with guns,swords and they are also using golf clubs as weapons!! but of coz all these are just toys... at one point of time..another cousin of mine even wanted to put raw food inside his mouth because he thot that it can be eaten...(btw.. my cousin was having a bbq so there was raw meat)
then after cutting the cake, which is about 9 plus..we finally left..at first i thought we were going back home...but...we were actually going to my dad's friends house.. -_-'' then when i reach there..i was already half dead..so i was sitting on the sofa watching tv..then slowly..falling asleep.. then in the end...i forced my mum to drive me and my sis home..then when i reach home..i went immediately to bed because i was just too tired...
today was another crazy day...customer blaring up and scolding my colleague when it wasn't even her fault...alot of stuff...will take too much time if i go into details...so tired and bored but luckily got justina to pei me...so long never work together with her already..haha..
ver...cheer up...people will leave as years passed..there is nothing you can do to change..feeling sad is natural but please cheer up..get back to the normal you...the very noisy,absolutely not quiet ver...so bored at work...nothing to do..no customers...
just entertained a customer for a very long time..then went to eat...was so hungry and tired..wasted so many time talking...still got alot of things but too tired...lazy to write..hey ver! suddenly offline also didn't say bye....still got things to ask her lor...humph!
my heart still breaks whenever i thought of you...how i wish i never met you..
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Friday, August 11, 2006 at 3:33 PM
was actually on my way to work...just one more stop then reach..but suddenly ver receive a call then she has to go back...then i was feeling already very tired..so..in the end..i went back home too...playing games and chatting...
don't know what to do..feel like going for another holiday...i want a longer holiday..how i wish i don't have to come back...sometimes..wishing that i would have a accident and it cause me to lose my memory...if that really happen..i would be very happy..i will not be constantly reminded of all the pains that i have suffered and never know who have cause all those heartbreaks...then i will be able to start my life over again...forgetting things and memories that i don't want to remember...
i really admire your courage and patience..if i were in your shoes..i probably wouldn't do what you are doing...you are investing in something which may not bring any returns...i understand what you are doing but somethings cannot be forced...i don't know what will happen in the end but i just hope that it would turn out fine...
going to be quite busy next few weeks...assignment dateline is getting nearer and nearer and our group have done nothing yet..then exams are also nearing...gotta prepare soon...don't want to end up like the previous exams...freaking out when i was studying for the exams... hope that i can pass...i am sure i don't want to remodule and listen to any of the lessons that the teacher is teaching...i was referring to the PBM teacher...i just dislike him...
looking at you everyday..thinking about something that seems so impossible...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Thursday, August 10, 2006 at 7:34 PM
actually wanted to blog yesterday...but...things happened and people get lazy so have to wait till today to post...
was kinda reluctant to go back to school...it was so fun...i will try to go there at least once to twice a year...then went back to school...understand the topic better after the teacher explained..that was for econs..but for principles of business management...the usual stuff...the teacher talking to himself again...keeps telling about his working experiences and nothing about the topic...WE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN HOW MUCH MONEY YOU EARN! we don't care..so please stop saying all those things anymore...and you repeat the same thing over and over again... we don't care so don't even bother..
don't know what to write.........running out of ideas...had actually lots of things to say but all forget liao...suddenly miss ruth very much...dunno why..so long never see her liao..miss the times with her..think will be meeting her on monday ba...if she is free....
going work tomorrow...so much stuff happening over at the office..too much politics...too much fake faces...i don't even know who is fake and real..people quarrel and people act as if they are really good friends but who really knows what really lies beneath? they will only know it themself.. as long as i am not involve,i don't probe...anyway..all this quarrels are just too immature...
i promise to forget about you...i promise to give up...i will do that but i just more time...more time that i never expected myself needing it...maybe i just cannot bear to let go...but i will.. abit contradicting but i will do what i say...so what if i had that chance before..i make the decision.. i don't like it but i have no choice...that the way life is...and i hae myself for doing that...
thinking about you...wondering about something impossible...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Saturday, August 05, 2006 at 11:11 PM
had no idea what had gone into me yesterday...i slept at 4!! muz be abit mad...must be the coffee that i drank yesterday...so strong..then today lack of sleep...wanted to sleep longer but cannot..too much distractions...phone ringing...then having some weird dreams...had no choice so have to get up...
i am really tired and sick of helping people.i don't mind helping people if they are grateful or that the ending will turn out great..but this time round...i have been helping again and again..but you just don't seem to care and take it for granted...what for do i have to help you? i dun gain anything..i just want you to be happy as a friend...anyway..i did everything i could and i won't do anything anymore...you just solve your own problem....i have my own problems too...
will be going off for a few days so i most probably won't blog...and today's fireworks was very nice...even though it is kinda small from my house but it is still very nice...even better than the national day...lots of colours and lots of different design....so cool..put can't take any pictures cause it was too far..sad..
hopes everything turns out fine for ver...think she is too stress and she thinks alot too...must get her out of all this negative thinking...and i want to highlight something...SHE IS NOT QUIET.. not even for a moment...so stop insisting that you are quiet....you are not!!! some things you must be patient...if he don't care...he won't bother about you...so, you and red must jia you ar!!
i can only look at you at a distance...even though i wish to be next to you..
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Friday, August 04, 2006 at 11:48 PM
i really hate lessons with that teacher....don't know what he teaching and i doubt anyone is listening...and he doesn't even cares..i think i am preparing to study everything by myself..cannot rely on him to teach me...sure die...
day 3 for ver..things she can handle abit of things already..has confidence that she can do it...she is so smart and one thing for sure...she is NOT quiet...not even abit...she is very very noisy..dunno why people can say she is quiet...anyway..hopes everything goes well for her...
so tired...walk all the way from office to home...actually not that far lar...maybe if free can try walking again...kinda fun and don't take very long to reach home anyway..somemore still got people accompany me home...so good....
why do people get treated so badly when they really care for that person...it is so unfair..if u don't like the person then tell him in the 1st place..why mislead people and let people think that they have a chance?this kind of people are just so selfish...always thinking about themselves first...it is just your mistake that you don't treasure them and don't ever regret...you choose it yourself....
ver..relax..i noe you very angry..don't care about that stupid old man lar..think the wires in the brain not connected properly...just be more careful on your way home...stop thinking about it..calm down..no use getting so agitated over him..totally not worth it...he is just another piece of shit...
i already make the wrong move in the beginning and it cost me lot...i don't wanna end up regretting and blaming myself again...i just cannot pretend that nothing happen...i am just so so close to you but i chose to give you up...thinking about this makes me hate myself more..it is just my fault...my stupid decision...
the ending is that i lost due to a wrong move made..nothing can save it anymore..totally regret everything...don't know what i am thinking...
(to ver..red+green=something very very great.good things must wait..so be more patient..)
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Thursday, August 03, 2006 at 11:21 PM
was so tired during class today..feeling so sleepy...then had no idea of what the teacher is saying..wondering how am i suppose to pass my exams in this module..sure die..then tomorrow is a bad day...another one of our business mangement class...dunno how i am suppose to survive this one...
today is ver second day..so good..from start then sit downstairs with me..then keep on talking to her..so relaxing today..except have to answer all the questions she ask which basically equals to me picking up the call...she ask alot of questions...till i oso dunno what to answer her..but she new so i must be patient..later she say i bully her...but actually she is the one bullying me...everytime so fierce..dun teach her also cannot...later she beat me how??
now have to work almost everyday coz ppl say have to work 5days a week...dunno how to live lor...totally no life...so much politics in the office...but don't care..as long as i do my own work can liao and no one come disturb me..still feeling very happy for ver..cannot believe that she is here working...hope everything will be fine...
remembering the first time i come to work...it is like so long ago...from a complete travel idiot to now...at least i noe something...ver..i will try to answer all your difficult questions..cause i noe it will take some time to learn something new..i will be very very patient..=)
(red + green = to something very great)
forgetting you once and for all...and this time...i meant my words...all the best....
i lost and i finally know the reason..
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006 at 10:55 PM
another boring and sleepy lesson by our great lecturer....seriously don't know what he talking.. he is teaching principles of business management and he cannot even manage our class...how can he fit to teach...crazy..dunno the school recruit him for what...waste of resource and money..
today is a happy day!!!ver got the job!! so happy lar..was so scared when she come down..thot that she wasn't getting the job..feel so so happy for her..dunno why the manager so good to her.. she wasn't that good to me when i first came.. =( but feeling kind of guilty cause it is so far from her house...don't know what time she will reach lor...be careful!! lots of creepy fellows out there..
then at work dunno why got so many people...normally not like that de..then somemore not peak season.. then teach ver alot of things..dunno she can absorb anot...i teach her coz she ask me alot of things..this girl really have alot of questions to ask.. -_-''
whatever will be..will be...let things take its own course...
somehow..seriously wondering when i can know u better....
(congrats ver!!! really happy for you!!)
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006 at 9:16 PM
today school was ok..the teacher was quite funny..but i am afraid of the exams because both of the subjects are all essay questions..i wonder how i am going to study for the exams..sure die de..then after school,met jus go watch movie..was actually sleeping for the 1st half of the movie coz i already watch it liao...but becoz jus wanna watch mar...
erm..suddenly had no ideas of what to post...ok..shall stop...
oh ya...tomorrow a very very big day for verlyn....really hope that she can make it....really really and sincerely...will try to help you in any way i could...ALL THE BEST!!! you can do it! jia you!!!
wondering really when can i know you better...
i'm taking forever to forget you.
