after the horribly lack of sleep, i'm still not getting enough sleep. i think this is the first time that i have been working so hard. i've never tried to sleep at 3am just because of a project, not even when i've exams.
seiously, i just cannot bring myself to do it. i know that he really did not contribute to any our of work but to see him get a zero, it seems abit cruel. and it also means that he will have a high possibility of failing the whole moduel because just the project alone is 30%. but at the same time, i also cannot accept it if he were to get the same marks as me. i've practically slogged my life to finish the project. but how do you expect me to say it? nat seems determined to get his name out, and i don't want to say anything already. just like yesterday, i put in good words for him, but when we come back, he is there, playing the computer. i'm already trying to help you, but why can't you help yourself too? it is your own marks that are on stake and i'm trying to protect you even though you seriously did not do anything. i've did what i can do and now, it is up to the majority. no more good words and no more soft-hearted me. what's gonna happen will happen.
went pass SGH today, remember about all those horrible times where i have to go to the hospital. it really sucks. having to go and find the ward and then have to see our relatives there. everyone is trying so hard to smile and crack jokes to break the icy atmospere. if i had a choice, i would rather prefer to die first, so i don't have see people around me dying, and i would not have to be so sad. at least when i die, i won't have to cry. Yes. i'm selfish.
today came to school with super black face. i have to apologised. people like me who do not have sufficient is like that. i've been giving my zhao pai black face to my secondary school classmates every single day. don't know how they can tolerate me. and besides that, i also have to apologised for throwing temper on wednesday. it is just that i've too much things on my mind, project still not done and people are just not helping around and also keep getting scolded and screamed at and of course, i just cannot control my temper when i'm tired. it just gets out of control.
finally, a free day tomorrow. after school tomorrow, i have nothing on, so probably going study with nat, since exams are so near, but who knows. i think i'll be going nat's house to study. we'll see how. i don't like FM.
i'm thinking to put kenneth's before and after photos. but i scare later he angry. i will wait for him to see this and reply me. it will be interesting. anyway. i need to catch up on my sleep. crazy pimples popping out like there is no tomorrow. i hate them.
really stressed or stressing myself too much? i think i'm crazy and nat agrees with me. probably i should book and appointment with the shrink.
my driving licence(it's a miracle!)
a trip abroad with my friends
a brand new job
a word from you
to see you again
good results is a must
work hard to get lots of money
