Say it OnLy if you mean it.

Sunday, May 20, 2007 at 6:22 AM

i almost screamed this morning when i walk out of my house to get a cab. there are like so many CATS around. this is what happen when you feed cats. they get dependant on you and when it is about 5plus close to 6am, all the cats will come under my house, waiting for their food. and i seriously hate it! if people like cats, then they should keep them all in their flats instead of letting them straying around.

now i know checking buses can be so fun. once in a while it's fine but if you ask me to do everyday it is going to be so so tired. was practically running around like a mad man. looking for buses, ensuring that everyone board the bus, then have to get the counter staff to call people that are not yet in the bus. and when you see a bus that is late come, it is as if you see something so heavenly. i mean i was so happy. cause people were already complaining when the bus is 5mins late and i used to have buses that were late for more than half an hour and all the customers were all super fierce today. i'm very tired right now. feel like sleeping.

yesterday was a horrible day. i had a waffle pancake for breakfast, a pao for lunch then i ate dinner only about 10 because i had to wait until jas finish doing her nails then we can go and eat. so in the end, we went for far east to plaza sing because there are just too much people there. we had pastamania, it was not too bad but i think i eat less than 10 spoonfuls of noodles because i was having terrible terrible gastric and everytime i move, it is already painful enough to kill me. it is not that i don't want eat but i can only settle for a pao for lunch because i don't have time for a good meal. and then jas and i walk all the way down to cathay, hoping to get a cab because there was too many people at the taxi queue and in the end, we got a cab near hotel rendevous. my cab fare was only like 4 bucks. super cheap and fast. of course you can't compare the price to taking the bus. but 4 bucks for a cab fare is already very cheap to me. from my workplace to dunman road cost around 5plus6.

just finish my porridge. not exactly finish cause i don't have the mood to eat and i don't want to eat too much. i hope this will only be temporary because as much as i want to slim down, i don't want to be suffering like that. the gastric was so horrible.

i'm happy because i have sorted out all my thoughts. because of my stupid thinking and everything that is happening, i had a hard time trying to fall asleep this few days. and i'm so deprived of my sleep. it will no longer bother me. i'm free. i realise that it is not something that i've wanted and seriously think that i've thought too much. trying to love someone takes alot of effort and time and i just don't have all this right now.

yesterday was day 2 of demure and pleasant. i still manage to do it except that i was kinda emo. (as usual) must i did that does not affect demure and pleasant because emo can also be pleasant. i'm already getting abit irritated. it always happen when i do not have enough sleep. i will get short tempered very easily and i will be super impatient. i've tried to change but i just can't. it just comes out naturally. probably i can never be demure and pleasant. i can only pretend. come to think of it, it's sad.

however, i'm still wishing and hoping for miracles.

a joke, a great big one. we are just not meant to be.

i'm taking forever to forget you.