Say it OnLy if you mean it.

Sunday, May 27, 2007 at 8:05 AM

oh my gosh. i have no voice now. really no voice. today check in all done by my colleague, i was just in charge of cancelling the seats and taking note of other not so important stuff that allows me not to open my mouth and talk. i can't even talk properly. out of the 10 notes that i spoke, i think about 3 or 4 notes are with no sound. feel so pathetic, this has never happen to me before. i feel so insecure. =(

yesterday had wanton noodle for breakfast but i only ate about less than 10 mouthfuls and threw it away. felt quite full and the noodle taste horrible anyway. had only fruit and fruit juice for lunch. was not too bad, satisfying and enjoying. after working and after one session of tuition, i went home and slept. i was so tired. i slept all the way through but i jump up from my sleep because i thought it was already the next day and i was late for work. i have to took some time for me to realise that it is actually still the same day, then after that, i went back to sleep again. super pig but can't blame. really not enough sleep. by the way, i had fish porridge for dinner at about 9plus. wanted to skip dinner but my parents bought it so i got no choice. sinful.

the assignment due date is next next week and i have not really done anything about it. not that i don't want to do but i just don't know what to do. it's okay, i will figure it out on my own somehow. what to do, since it is a individual assignment. POM and HRM, i don't like.

is it really so hard to do something, even though it is something that you have not done before? promising someone is so hard? probably cause you have no confidence that's why you are afraid to give your promise and not because you always don't give promises to anyone. what i really need was just an assurance from someone to tell me that what i am doing is right and that is difficult when you claimed that you are trying to help me? i don't need any help of guiding me out of the lost woods or my problems. i can settle them by my own and i have always had. i'm just stubborn. i have a rotten attitude and i always throw temper. that is the true me. and sometimes, i'm bloody childish too. so what? i'm just a teenager, and i don't have to grow up so quickly!

what is to happen? i'm surprised at myself for saying all this. never had i talk about all this to someone that i am not even close with but who cares, i still got ignored in the end. 同人不同命。
haha. talking about 1000% impossible. hurting me again is nothing since it is already not the first time.

selfish, just being selfish and self-centred.

even after trying and knowing that you have failed, at least be happy that you have more courage compared to other people because you tried and not hide what you want to say.

i'm taking forever to forget you.