HAHA. at this rate that i'm going. i think i will end up with lots of dark eye rings and lots of pimples. doesn't matter actually. at least, my life will be filled up every moment. not leaving any small gaps everyday. work in the morning, tuition at night and then off to bed. no time for anything else.
when you have a boyfriend, you will tend to forget or neglect your friend. most of us won't be able to accomplish both. even my friends are like that but i guess that's life. only when their boyfriends/girlfriends are busy or not around then they will come and find you. how ironic, friends are suppose to be forever but then again, you will only be sought after only when they feel like it. i've had enough of all this and have already seen through it. just learn to close one eye and pretend that everything is fine. i'm just disappointed.
working over here. i've seen people's true colours and i have to say, Singaporeans are KIASU in nature. it's really true. every morning. when i'm working, people will all rush to us and just shove the envelopes into our face even though they are departing at 0700am and the time is only 6.05am. then, we will tell them that they will have to come back at 0630am because it is not ready yet. despite hearing that, they will just stand there and wait for you, even though you already said that it is not ready yet REPEATEDLY. and over here, there is nothing called ladies first. there are alot of events where the guys will all rush to the front or squeezed to the front even though there are people in front of them. and this is called manners. there are too many ugly sides of human that you can see here. i'm some how immuned to all this already.
just today, another incident happened, the aunty in our office is sweeping the floor, then a customer came and check in. the customer then make a comment and asked the aunty to stop sweeping. the aunty ignored him and continue sweeping. after that, he then said in cantonese "不会自动". how rude can he be? the point is that aunty did not even go near him. she know that he is standing there and she swept the other side first. i'm just disgusted by the guy's comment. i mean, how can you say such a thing? we are all here to work, to get a job so that we can have enough money. being a cleaner is still a job and i'm sure it should have the same amoount of respect as any other job. so what if you are rich? you don't have the authority or even the right to say such a thing. rude, rude, rude.
okay. been posting since this morning. now is already 11.40, 2 more hours then i can go home. seriously cannot wait. tommorow working in the morning too. tired and bored.
disappointed and tired.
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Friday, August 24, 2007 at 9:04 AM
one more day.
not working tomorrow, not having tuition too and as a result, having to crammed my 2 tuition sessions together today. but nevermind, its worth it. i've got one full day free tomorrow and the best part of it, it is a SATURDAY! it has really been a long long time since i ever got any saturdays free. i would either have tuition or work. and it's time to go out and shop for new clothes and presents.
thinking of that makes me so much happier and all my tiredness is all washed away. my colleague is already closed to cursing me now. she needs to work today, tomorrow and on sunday. haha.
the following comments is basically directed and one person. someone close to me. no matter how people scold you, don't bear grudges. i agree that he may be very unreasonable at times but at the end of the day, he is still someone that is close to you. if you want respect from people, you respect people first. always learn to forgive and forget. don't always think about how bad he treats you. what about the good times, have you thought about that? i don't blame you, i think when i was at your age, i was also like that or if not, more rebellious than you. well, that is the process all of us will sure go through. so now, why not just forgive and forget? just hope that you will think throught what i said.
okay. i'm almost done. one more day. YOUR birthday. not being able to be by your side but that's okay. i've learnt through all these years.
i'm still trying.
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 10:43 AM
i think i won't be posting so regularly anymore. i just don't see the need to post now. there are also not so much things to talk about in my life and i just find it redundant.
posting on my personal daily life is boring. everyday, i would either be at work or i would be at home. so there is actually nothing to talk about. not that i still have school.
anyway, i was thinking about some stuff today and right now, i'm having second thoughts as to continue-ing my degree course. i see others coping fine with just their advanced diploma and what is the point of studying so much if at the end of the day all you have is some crappy job? and not that the fee is cheap, it costs like close to 20k for 2 years. i really don't know. will probably see how as the days goes.
** this was yesterday's post and here i am still posting. i'm really abit slow. i'm gonna stop and post for today, so i'll have 2 posts! =)
soon, soon, soon.....
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Saturday, August 18, 2007 at 6:46 AM
我们都哭了没有值得不值得
就在这里停格框住最后的脸色
让我们最难过的是因为曾经快乐
后来的转折我们都无法预测
只能这样了继续下去又如何
就当上了一课保留被爱的资格
以后还会想你的也许不再难过了
我们的角色变成彼此的旁观者
我相信爱是真的
我相信你是对的
就算我们重新选择
仿佛伤害早就被预设
我相信爱是真的
所以才会舍不得在
放手的那一刻
爱在分手那一刻
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Sunday, August 12, 2007 at 7:38 AM
there are probably lots of changes to my life now. no more studies so i'll most probably spend my time working or if not slacking at home (which i most probably would do so). next week would be working 5 out of 7 days. 4 days i'm suppose to work in the morning. hope i would be able to wake up. this few days had only very little hours of sleep. well, talk about yesterday, i received a call from office asking why did not come to work. HAHA. i had already cancelled my schedule but i don't know why is it not updated so my colleague have to work alone and luckily there was no alot of envelopes otherwise i don't know how she could cope because i'm not coming and definitely not intending to.
Nat is starting work this week and Ken too. wow. seems like a good week for everyone. then hua yu is also starting school. i'm so glad i'm not in this intake because i will probably be so exhausted that i won't have the mood to study. and then have to end up deferring the whole course and thus wasting time and money.
the only thing that i hope now is that i would be able to pass my three other papers. i don't want to waste my time studying for the supp paper. it is just so hard to study after so long and i'm sure everything that i studied before would be long gone. =)
talking to jas yesterday and she kinda scolded me. she was like so LOUD lar. and not as if i did anything wrong. or at least it doesn't seem wrong to me. anyway, i've already told D clearly so i think that would be done and get over with. now, is the other more important thing. lets just see what would happen after that 3 months. i cannot guarantee anything and to me, at this point of time, giving up is no longer a matter to discuss about.
i so want to go for a holiday. but how? i've tuition almost everyday except tue and then at this point of time, most of the kids are having their exams soon and what would the parents say if i'm gonna disappear at this point of time? and with everyday so fully packed, i don't even have energy to think about other things.
finally: i realise what you meant by that. if we can't get well during that time, right now, it is really more difficult. and it means we both really have to make their extra effort. haha. not that it is not possible but it would really required lots and lots of effort. i don't mind giving it a shot but what about you? sometimes, looking back, i realise that there are so many things that we used to joke about, so many things that we talked about and also lots of stuff that we share. kinda missing all this. but, i just don't understand why did such a small misunderstanding cost us to be like that.
there are like so many movies that i want to watch lately. some are not screened yet. 1. Rush Hour 3 2. Secret 不能说的秘密 3. Hairspray (it looks super interesting!) 4. Ratatouille (a rat that cooks!!) 5. 1408(horror movie!!!)
talk about movies, this week went to watch simpsons with jus and ken. erm. personally, i don't really enjoy the movie, it was so lame that i keep dozing off. the storyline is like all those cartoons that you can see in cartoon network but no choice, ken likes it so much. he was practically begging us to watch it. well, at least he enjoys it and even after the movie, he is still humming the tunes of the movie and he kept grinning and telling us that he enjoyed the movie so much. =.= i guess it is just the age difference. =)
meeting m.h and nat next week. going for retail therapy! finally, after so long. can't wait. i guess that is the nature of all women. they like shopping and they have durable legs that can withstand the hours of walking and also the "reactive" mouth for bargaining. haha.
i've an offer now. my dad bought a new phone and i'm wondering whether to use it anot. if i do, then i would have to give up my current phone now. still thinking about it. both have similar features or if not better ones. both phones have a 2mega-pix camera but only mine has auto focus and flashlight. where else for the music, my phone can only play mp3 format songs while the other one can play wma format too. the resolution of the new phone is also better and clearer. if i were to get this phone now, means that i would have a longer time for me to get another new phone and that is something that i'm pondering about. my whole point of getting a new phone is to get one with new and better features and having everything that my current phone has. but i guess it is kinda hard. phones nowadays are mostly of the same features. i don't know how. i'm contradicting again. this or the one below?
okay. gotta go and eat my breakfast now. feeling very tired and drained out. have done more than enough of posting today.
okay. i'm done with chinese. suddenly just feel like writing but everything when i write chinese, all my inspirations would disappear. and i end up just writing very minimal.
next week playing badminton with jus and ken at tampines. i don't want to play with the group anymore, everytime i book already then in the end have to cancel because of some stupid things. i think by the time we can play, we'll all be rotting already. probably after playing badminton, will either go catch a movie or go somewhere else to play. feeling so bored lately. there are so many things i have to do.
this is my list: 1. clean my room (it's like a pig sty already) 2. wash and clean my toilet (it's looking like a public toilet soon) 3. finish up my birthday cards (everyone's birthday around the corner) 4. wash my clothes (they are all piling up) 5. fold my clothes (when you wash, you got to fold them too) 6. clean my table (exams finish and books are all around) 7. alter my pants (hurray! finally my pants is too loose!!!) 8. flip papers to look for a job (i'm broke) 9. exercise (3months!) 10. check out on the degree course (i need to save money) 11. return books to ruth (=.=) 12. work to pay off loans (i owe my mum alot of money)
so, there are a rough list of 12 items that i would have to do. doesn't seems a lot but it is actually alot to do. i would have to spend up to one full day to finish one card. (i know i am slow) my mum have been constantly nagging me to clean up my room, i just manage to fold one pile of clothes and manage to make my room look more presentable yesterday. so that is also an achievement.
nowadays, have been doing things on my own. now that we are all out of school, it is even harder to meet up as compared when we were in the school. so most of the places that i need to go, i would have to go there alone. and most of the days i also have tuition at night, so that doesn't really make a difference. but it's good, i'm becoming more and more independant. i think soon i will be able to go thailand on my own. i even imagine myself speaking fluent thai yesterday! this is seriously a great achievement!!!
i just don't think why should i deserve such treatment from you. i mean, i don't see you treating other people like that. that is what i'm afraid of. i don't want to end up being indispensible without you. i want to have my own life too.
there are just too many things to say and too many things to do. my mind is so crammed with everything that i don't think i'm functioning properly. kenneth still have not reply me and i'm waiting. probably he just does not want to. and i don't blame him. =)
tell me that you care.
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Thursday, August 02, 2007 at 10:41 PM
if i would have know, i seriously would not have watch the Flashpoint. not that it is a very bad movie, it is actually quite well done and the fighting seems so real and all the actions are so cool but then, that is the whole problem. because it is so real, i was like covering my face most of the time and was close to screaming everytime there is a fighting scene. after the movie, i felt so damm stupid. it was as if i was also in the movie. HAHA. now i know why i would have preferred horror movie to suspense movies. i get so anxious and kan cheong. i think ken and jus must be thinking their next movie companion would not be me. i was so so noisy. okay. i got to go for training. next thriller or action movie- rush hour 3, invisible target and perfect stranger. train how to keep my mouth shut and my hands from covering my face.
was looking at the photos that i've took. how i just wish to go for a holiday now. be it with my friends or family. (better with family cause i would not have to pay for anything) that feeling of all being together, getting to taste the local food, having people of different culture around you, speaking in a foreign language that you have no idea what they are talking about and of course the SHOPPING! but most importantly, is to have a great time and to leave the reality for a few days.
perhaps i'm just being evil, i'm always hoping that the both of you will not end up together and the actual fact that you don't really like her. but it seems that i was wrong. you do really loved her and the both of you have come a long way. i was just being childish and thinking that since i would not ever have a chance, then the both of you wouldn't be happy together too.
i miss those times when you will smile at me and tell me what happen during the weekends, i miss those times when you called me and talk to me, i miss those times when you seem so caring. i miss the days when i was angry with you and would ignore you for a few days.
but that was the past. all i can do and all that i'm left is memories. all of this would never happen again. what we are now are no different from acquaintances. always so polite to each other. and probably the next time you call me would be when you need help from me. no more small chats and lame jokes.
there i go again, no matter how many times myself to not bring it up, i always end up doing that. its just that there are to many things that is in my mind now.
kenneth, what do you think i should do? i believe he has tell quite a number of things, he tells everything to almost everyone. but if you have no idea what i'm talking about, then ignore it. i just want to get it out of my mind.
do you think it would be worth it? i've never done such thing before and i seriously feel very stupid. its like being a toy and getting abandoned anyhow, anywhere. why are people like that? why can't they like a person on character or feelings? probably i'm just giving excuses to myself.
our "deal" was a one-sided one. and if you tell me i'm stupid, i'll probably stop myself from falling into it. i'm so tired of starting everything all over again and having to deal with all those heartaches. it is just so horrible. i don't deserve any of that. part of me tells me that he is not the guy that is for me and i'm also not sure that i'm really so into it then why am i so stupid?
probably you may not understand what i'm saying but that is how i feel. mixed and complicated. you ever said that i could come to you when i've problems and probably this would be the only time where i would need your help. there is no one that i can talk to and i hope that you as a guy would be able to understand better. thanks.
there is so much that i can do for people but there is so little that they can do for me.
when will you be able to love someone truely and properly?
i'm taking forever to forget you.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007 at 12:53 AM
i'm really free now. talking to nat for don't know how long already. waiting for the two "da pai" to call. also don't know what they doing. i could have been in bed by now.
meeting ruth in the morning tomorrow, hope i will be able to wake up. meeting her for breakfast and also to return the library books to her. has been a long time since we had a proper talk. actually also wanted to go out with her but last minute a change of plans.
today went to watch to "alone" with my sis. i paid for everything and it's so unfair. she didn't even say thanks and she still fall asleep during parts of the show. that is how grateful she is.
overall, the movie's not too bad but it is not as scary as i thought it would be or rather what kenneth describe it as. the storyline is okay but as to the scary parts, i would have to say that the "ghosts" are very scary. as in, the make-up is super pro and it really looks like real.( it sounds as if i've met one)(choi!!!)
i'm so bored. we've have been talking on the phone since 9plus and now is 1 already. but mostly, we were just not talking and letting air and the surrounding noise fill up the conversation. we're just bored and waiting for time to pass.
okay. i need to stop. at this rate that i'm going, i'll fall alseep. *yawns* night. =)
my driving licence(it's a miracle!)
a trip abroad with my friends
a brand new job
a word from you
to see you again
good results is a must
work hard to get lots of money
